Sunday, April 5, 2009

Getting Started

So here I am!!  I've finally made the leap and set up an actual blog!  Yay for me!  I think this could be fun, once I get into the groove.   I've spent the past hour or so playing around trying to get all of my personal settings how I want them and now I'm ready!  Of course, I don't really have anything to blog about, so I'm going to share a story that I had posted on my myspace blog.  It took place last summer, shortly after my husband deployed.  Hope you enjoy!

Creepy Crawlies 
Just another typical night in our house. Got the kids ready for bed, turning out the lights, and took the baby back to my bedroom... oh dang! I forgot to lock the garage door. I asked Kimberly if she could lock it and being the great child she is.. she goes to lock the door.  

Kimberly: "Mom... there's a big spider in the kitchen."
Mom: "Grab a shoe and kill it."
Kimberly: (pause)
Kimberly: walks into bedroom "Uh mom.. I'm a little scared."
Mom: "Are you kidding? It's a spider, smack it with the shoe!" walking towards the kitchen.

As I made my way through the house, I stopped by the front door and grabbed a flip flop. Now in the kitchen, I placed one foot on the linolium, and found myself standing toe to toe with the large spider Kimberly was talking about. There he stood calmly looking back at me.. I could see his eyes and did the only logical thing to do.. I jumped back and let out a rather loud scream! It was a damn TARANTULA!! 
I'm thinking to myself.. "Ok.. just leave it alone and it will go away.. No No No.. What if it crawls into bed with us.." Then reality sank in... James is in Iraq.. I have to be the one... "Why?!"
Fast forward a bit.. The spider has moved to the corner of the kitchen. I've made an emergency call to my dad, and now have a plan. Kimberly has Mason in the bedroom where it's "safe" and Kemper is convinced that he HAS to help.  
I place a chair in the center of the kitchen, grab a broom, a bottle of Windex, and climb onto the chair. Kemper, being my helper, is on the chair with me.  
Using the broom, I poke the spider to get him out of the corner.... it takes a few pokes.. and I'm pretty sure he's mad because he runs out of the corner and stops right in front of the chair... looks straight at me and raises his two front legs! Again, I do the logical thing and start screaming.. not just any scream but rollacoaster screams. Only stopping long enough to take a breath and start screaming again.  
There he stands, poised and ready for battle. Being the more intelligent of the two species and being armed.. Again I do the logical thing... still screaming, I throw my broom at the spider.. and miss. But that's ok.. because I have a back up plan... I'm going to turn the Windex to "Stream" and kill that son of a gun.... looking at my bottle of Windex I was surprised to find that there is no longer a "Stream" selection on the nozzle. So I resort to my only option....Mist. (Gulp)  
Still screaming, standing on a kitchen chair, Kemper screaming with me, spider ready to kick some ass, and I am misting the damn thing with Windex. Not only is it not working.. but he's moving closer to the chair.. I climb from the chair to the top of the counter.. still misting, as fast as I can mist and screaming!
The turantula retreated under the stove. So... again.. being the more intelligent species.. I make a perimeter around the stove... a perimeter of tape with the sticky side up. The theory is that if the turantula tries to come back out.. he will stick and I can deal with him in the morning.... thus getting a peaceful night of sleep. 
The next morning.. we found the tape was mangled.. but no turantula.  

Update: Mr. Turantula and I had our final battle in the garage.. about a week later. I am happy to report that I won.. this time using a flyswatter, my new weapon of choice.  


Tara said...

LMAO Lisa i can read this story over and over and totaly be right there with you! Ive been known to grab a bottle of hairspray (when i use to use the stuff) and nowadays i usue my bath and body sprays...hey whatever works...although i havent tried these with a tarantuala, knock on wood i never have too!